“The pandemic hath changed a lot of things,” as a biblical saying might go. Here are what appear to be the most critical losses, if you don’t count bar hopping.
1. Time patterns. Time has changed for most of us. Now, we have the proof of Special Relativity, and live in Einstein’s world where time really does slow down. Once our time patterns represented structure and expectations that moved our plans and routines. Now, with Covid, we can’t remember what day it is, because each day is pretty much the same, and we have to pretend that going to the weekly tianguis is a not-to-be-missed social outing.
Expectations for spontaneity and the happy patterns that once filled our lives are now, “Hey, honey, let’s dress up and Zoom the Clyburns.” Time really has lost all meaning, as routines and our palette of scenery changes are gone. Days all become Sundays.
2. Friendships. Culture does not have many words to describe different levels or types of friendship. Sociology does provide a useful concept though: close and easily available ties, weak ties of commonality, and so on. Stanford sociologist Mark Granovetter claimed that most ties make up what we call “acquaintances,” people you see infrequently, but with whom you share some familiarity, like rattling on about physiotherapy.
The pandemic has distanced all but the closest of our close ties. Seems everyone else we once had an easy laugh with are now near-strangers, or too screwed up to laugh at jokes that were hilarious at a crowded table with flowing margaritas. With Covid and masks and distancing, we’re not even sure we recognize these people any longer, or they us. Behind my mask, I have excitedly said hello to people I thought I recognized, only to find out I was mistaken, and then ignored like I was acting out a bipolar episode for attention.
Opportunities for keeping even our former friend-ties are sadly mostly gone. And when we do find safe opportunities to join others in person, masks, though necessary, make it impossible to know what the hell they are saying. I just keep nodding and smiling like a basket case, later to discover someone is sobbing about putting down their cat. Problem is that you are enjoying any exchange, whatever they are saying. The dullness of, “Damn, my microwave broke down yesterday,” rises to the level of entertainment during Covid.
Notes a recent article in the Financial Times, “Forced distancing of humans is unheard of in modern history. It changes our conception of emotions because of our restrictions in demonstrating them. So, in a futile attempt at the social intimacy missing from our lives, we elbow bump or foot bump or, in richly excited moments, flip eyebrows up and down. It becomes an unsatisfied social hunger.”
3. Sensory deprivations. Finally, it should be no surprise that alcohol consumption is “on the rise worldwide,” according to investigations by the BBC. This, as humans attempt to reset the sensory dullness of lockdown and distancing. Also, according to the investigation, the sale of home furniture and furnishings has taken a huge surge in an attempt to produce variations in sensory stimulation. It’s all about compensating for our numbed brains, a state of “familiarity breeds contempt,” and a fake tiger-skin rug in the living room.
4. Finally, physical human contact. “What of soul is left, I wonder, when the kissing had to stop?”— Robert Browning.